PLANES, RAIN AND BUTTERFLIES

WAITING FOR MY DESTINY AT THE AIRPORT ON A RAINY NIGHT 

That familiar smell If aircon and damp upholstery greeted my senses as soon as I climb the bus, which made me thankful for that egg, hotdog and rice combo I ordered at terminal carinderia. i’d like to mention first that I always get motion-sickness no matter how smooth the trip,  but that is not the point of this story 😂

The terminal is just starting get busy as a flurry of local and foreign travellers alighted from transport van from the city. There’s still a few people aboard my bus. as I look out my front seat window, i’m trying to make a list of all the possible things I forgot (I tend to worry a lot), and then when i’m positive I did not forget anything, I tried to worry about the weather. It was sunny, but with my province’ erratic weather, you can’t tell. I calculated i’d be in the city at 4pm. Still enough time to drop by the mall and change from my travel cloths.  

Okey,  I must admit i’m trying to distract my self from the real reason of this trip: the love of my life, my LDR, my one and only,  my fate, my destiny, my dearest R is coming to visit for 20 days! he’s gonna travel more than 8,000 miles, 4 airport stopovers and i‘m the one feeling nervous and happy and ecstatic and excited and anxious! (all kinds of feel) lol 

The 5-hour trip from El Nido is smooth by itself, so smooth that i didn’t woke up from my nap if the bus conductor did not announced that we’re going to have lunch at a highway carinderia. 

We arrived at 4:30pm in the city, dark clouds started gathering and as I alighted from the bus to hail a tricycle,  the smell of impending rain is in the air.
I dragged my two overstuffed bags and a native handcrafted basket on the security table at the entrance of the mall while a security personnel looks at me puzzled but gave my bags a prefunctory check (i’m secretly crossing fingers that none of my undergarments are visible lol) and let me go. I left all my luggage at the baggage counter and started to find the nearest comfort room, when i remember that I need  clothes to change in to. 

I took out my rubber shoes, and clean shirt and a jacket, my make up kit and beauty stuff (😜 i just want to look beautiful for my honey) and proceeded to change and apply those. I dropped by the french patisserie’ and got 2 large clubhouse sandwiches (i savagely bit into one).  There’s a full blown rain after outside. I checked the time and it’s 5:20pm which sent me in an instant panicky mode. I tried to recall the new airport location and take the nearest tricycle to take me there. 

As we enter the airport, i told the driver to take me to the ARRIVAL area, he glanced at my bags and said maybe it’s the DEPARTURE I mean. I said i’m sure I want to be in the ARRIVAL area. It’s 5:44 and I’m trying to collect my composure 

I took one of the wooden chairs that resembles a washed out log from the beach and put my bags underneath before whipping out my phone, camera on ready, eagerly looking at the door marked “ARRIVAL”. I tried to relax,  and noticed some of the people waiting as well, staff from hotels carrying placards with the name of the person they have to pick up and bored tourist transpo drivers. I asked an old lady near me if they’re also waiting for the 6pm flight and she said yes, she’s waiting for her son too. By this time i can feel strong wind and rain blowing on our direction, puddles forming  on the walkway and lightning illuminated the roof of the building across while thunders boomed in the distance. 

The ink on placards carried by hotel staffs started to blot, the cardboard soft and damp,  when we hear the first sound, air whizzing as an aircraft tried , and as the dismayed placard-carriers told us, failed to land,  due to bad weather. 

This news was further enforced by alarmingly sharp lightnings. I must confess i’m scared of lightning and thunder, and being in an open area with vertical roofs doesn’t help much but my anxiousness is overriding any of fears at the moment I think. 

There’s 4 more failed landings after that as the area was mercilessly pounded by rain. With each sound of approaching aircraft, me and my fellow airport wait-ers would glance at each other, asking silently who will go next to the security personnel at the arrival area to ask if it safely landed, what’s the flight number and if the flight we’re specifically waiting was cancelled for the night and re-scheduled. It’s 8:30pm, the flight bulletin board still flashed the airline name of flights scheduled to land, tho some turned back to Manila to await for the weather to clear. I squinted and try to read the airline names, but without my glasses,  all I can see is a blur. And this point, i’m starting to worry about R and hoping his aircraft is safely back in Manila.  I wonder what’s he’s thinking of this crazy unwelcoming weather here. 

(and hoping that at the airline is serving them good dinner at least) 😂


The rain started to slow down and finally settled into a drizzle when I heard a flurry of activity. A flight safely landed!!! 

So i took out my mirror,  apply a dab of powder and a light lipstick to wait near the ARRIVAL door. 

but alas! it’s not the flight i’m waiting! 

So back on the waiting area, arranging and re-arranging my bags. All the while ignoring the feeling on the pit of my stomach, trying not to worry. 

There’s 2 more flights after that, and my rush to the arrival area was fruitless. But I’m positive about the last one coz i’m sure the weather mixed up the scheduling pattern of the airlines, this time i stayed just a few meter at the arrival door. 

so positive that I applied a full lipstick and a thicker foundation, and a generous dab of cologne, again. 😂😂😂 

I watched as the passengers trickled out of that door, scanning each one. but to no avail. my R’s not there. I peeked inside the glass panels where i can see less than 10 people queuing for the baggages, trying to see familiar details, trying to read every the movements, but i’m he’s simply not there. 

I have to mention that I know in advance that phone communication isn’t possible between us as US phone network will not work here in the Philippines, so i’m not expecting to hear from him through his phone. 

as the last one of the passenger, the son of the old lady I waited with walk out and greeted by his mom, my tears trickled and i walk fast behind the columns, feeling overwhelmingly confused. what happened? where is he? 

I tried to recall our last phone conversation, few minutes before he rode an UBER taxi to Houston Airport. 

I checked my phone, desperate to do anything. to get an answer, only to be greeted by 2% phone battery. 

my thought’s in chaos as I walk back to where i left my bag besides some hotel staff preparing to leave, trying to stay calm and think. The people gathered at the waiting is is dwindling, everyone seems happily reunited with the person they’re waiting for.  lucky 

Should I call mama? should I message his sister, his friends to ask what happened? but my phone’s dying. 

With a just a bit of my conscious thought left, I decided I have to find a lodge or check in into a nearest inn just outside the airport premises, so I could charge, change clothes,  then get back and spend the night at the airport. I just have to be close, I felt I needed to be at the airport. 

I talk to one of the van driver and ask if I can get a ride just outside the airport. he said yes but we have to wait coz he’s waiting for another flight! 

a flight! another flight! but the security at the door said there’s no more flight for the night! 

I instantly felt awake and full of energy as i step into the puddles, nearly forgetting to thank him, unmindful of my clothes, my make up melting in the rain. 

then I noticed that tricycles are arriving bringing in new people to wait. 

That last flight landed, and for what seems to be an eternity, at nearly 10pm, the first of the passengers stepped out that door, one of them wearing blue stripes and pushing a cart, talking to airport staff, I can’t even see his face because of my helplessly blurred vision but i know it’s him. I just know

I step towards them without hesitation, the rain feels cold, and my pants and shoes are soaked, but I heard my name! my mascara running down, my lisptick all blotted out, and hair plastered unflatteringly to my head, but I just needed to get to him and touch him and make sure he’s alright! 

I spent thousands of hours rehearsing this very moment I my mind,  trying to come up with a memorable line, but all i can say when I hugged him is “at last!😂😂😂 wow. 

I can see his blue eyes become confused for a second, trying to understand what bump/hug him (i’m heavy lol) before turning at it’s bluest as he recognized me (at least he did not get scared lol)

Apparently the agency in Singapore where he booked transfered him to another flight in Manila because they said he might missed his original Manila – Puerto Princesa flight and he’s been trying to contact me using the Singapore airline employee’s phone, even searching for my Facebook to send  a message to assure me but my facebook page’s not searchable to other people that i don’t have mutual  friend with.  He’s also worried that I won’t be at the airport when he lands because of all the delays and asked the airport staff to announce my name on the PA system of the airport 😂

Being a romantic person that I am, it amazed me so much how there’s many contributing factors that could ruin that moment, many little inconveniences, many delays, many hindering factors, lost of communication etc, and how it turned out to be alright and perfect at end of that airport episode.

~ I know that this sounds cliche’ but the moment I touched him, everything vanished, every particle of the universe makes sense, and i saw all the goodness in the world. my heart sung, and my ear blocked out all the noises of the outside world, and I only want to be immersed in the warmness of his embrace. That’s where I belong, in his arms, the place where I should be, the one I’ve been looking for my whole life through, where every path leads me too, where I found the other half of my soul, the fulfillment of my every wish, my every dream. ~ 

It’s nothing short of magical, better than any soup on a cold night, better than choco chip cookies or pizza or burger or coffee (and I’m a super duper coffee fan, mind you lol) 

I even forgot that people are watching, and it’s raining lol i could’ve fallen asleep in his arm right there if he did not moved 😂 

Everything turned out to be just perfect. 

(well, until we rode the taxi and i saw myself in the mirror, I look like an alien and predator hybrid with my runny make up, but thanks to the dim interior of the car he seemed not noticed 😂😂😂, sorry to sound obsessed with my appearance, it’s just so funny how I applied powder 3 times, lipstick 4 times during the course of waiting, only to let him see me looking like a washed out, pale starving vampire😂)

And I assure you there’s more. I’m excited and very happy to share about our amazing adventures together on the next post, so stay tuned!

Happy Weekend, everyone! 

Kiss someone you love today and hold their hand every chance you get. Seize every moment. 

Amor Vincit Omnia. 

let love conquer you x 

Love, 

your island girl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~my dearest R, 

I know deep in my soul you’re there, somewhere across the thousands of miles away even before I had the idea of what a romantic love is, in my childish notions and imaginings. And I’m glad i’ve waited for you, as only as a love as special and magical as ours deserved to be waited for. I must admit you shattered all my imaginings and my fantasies, all my expectations, my thoughts… because what we have is far more than profound and meaningful than I could ever define, than what all the books i’ve read said, than all my researches. 

I love you. 

yours, infinities😘


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Disastrous Cooking 101

Guess who’s creating a huge mess in the kitchen, knows she’s only probably wasting all the precious ingredients but doggedly wants to finish it so  she can have dinner at 10pm? 😂 me! 

the recipe is nothing complicated. Just simple custard which i intend to surprise mama with (since she’s staying in El Nido most of the time now) at tomorrow’s trip. 

What looks so simple on Google and You Tube tutorial turned out to be delicate process lol and i’m getting nervous by seconds now 😂 but determined to see it done (disaster or not). 

Lesson learned: If you’re trying your hand on some cooking, the best way to start is not 8pm 😂

What the tutorial said is basically to mix 12 egg yolks with condensed and evaporated milk. Put it in a pan with sugar (for caramel) in it, then steam for 30 minutes. 

The result i’m waiting for right now is mix to harden (well, maybe have the appareance of  “cooked” 😂😂😂
Wish me luck!!! 
I’m gonna post the end result maybe in about an hour. If not, maybe at 4am (jk). I hope not, i’m super hungry the raw egg and milk mix is looking delicious now 😀

Be back in a few…! 

UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! (After two days!!! Sorry, connection, as always, was slow)

(Lol first imperfect LECHE FLAN! It’s supposed to be really smooth like this 👇👇👇

But i don’t mind. I ate the un-perfectness and, it actually taste super good! Or maybe i was just hungry lol )

My mistake is 1. ) i should’ve waited until the sugar melted into caramel-y like goodness before putting in the milk and egg yolk mix. 

Also, the 2. ) “frothy” soft top is because in included the egg white.

Like ze Bf said (he’s a very talented chef, btw) 😉 “patience is required.”. Mmm admittedly, that’s not one of the qualities i possessed but don’t tell him😂😂😂 . Next time i’ll listen 

This one ☝☝☝ i saved for mama and, SHE LOVED IT!!! said it’s perfect.  Lol that’s how i know she love me so much 😂. Apparently, mom’s have a very special tastebuds too, as to not offend their offsprings when they present a half cook egg and milk concoction on a Monday afternoon. 

What’s your most disastrous cooking episode? Tell me in the comments. Love to all your awesome beautiful moms!!! xoxox💓

Enjoy the first week of love month, my lovely peeps!!! Spread the love and keep the positivity going 💘💝💞💟🌞

Love, 

Your Island Girl

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(Hi baby!please get as much sleep as you can 😘 you deserved it! Love you! ~ H

KAJA THE NON-EXISTENT (A LITERARY ATTEMPT😂)

(The last time i tried to write stories is when i was 14 years old, about twin princesses separated by destiny and reunited by love.Lolz 😜Here’s another try…)-

My name’s not Kaja (you say it as kaya). It’s a lie. Just like how everything in my world is a lie.  I once posted on my facebook account about how i live a charmed life. Actually, i don’t.my i was just trying to be sarcastic. Mine is a life of sorrows and tears and desperations, and loneliness and endless fight for survival,  for my sanity and for my place in this mad mad world.  I feel like i’m wearing a mask, living a double life. Hard shelled, tough hearted on the outside, but vulnerable and helpless inside.my nose always buried on my reporter’s noted book our News writing teacher gave us. 

People have different impressions of me. Those who knew me back in college have seen this punk-haired happy-go-lucky gal sitting on the stairs of Arts and Humanities building, laughing with my same-minded co-majors. I was either wearing a tattered shirt, my hair an uneven mess, without a care in the world. A year after that, an aspiring journalist covering mundane news, writing furiously on the police desk to fill the backpage of local publication, this time it’s my pants that is tattered and unwashed. I retained the hair, covered in cheap gel, trying to stretch every dime that passed my hand into the last day of the month into the next meager salary. Those who have crossed my path took me for a serious, hard-working wannabe, with a rebellious streak.

Only a few people know the real story of my life. I’m not keeping it a secret. though secret is my expertise.  I work with secret But i’m not telling everyone either, if they don’t ask. I like it just the way it is. An open secret, for anyone to delve and analyze. An officemate asked me one afternoon why i didn’t become one of those emo people, hating the world for what it have done to me, i can’t remember what i told her. But looking back, my answer would be that i don’t have the energy anymore to hate on the world. I cried and cried and cried, but no amount of tears can change my fate or re-align my stars, so i’ve learned to compartmentalize my emotions into locked shelves.  I’m no longer a shy doe-eyed girl, i’m a warrior. And i’m out for blood. ***
She glanced at the purple clock on the wall across her desk, which informed her it’s 7:24pm. She made  a quick mental note of things she needs to do before going home while gathering her stuff from atop her messy worktable, scribbling on post it note and sticking it on the front page of the report that came just before 6, two hours late from the cut off. A mug,  still half full of stale coffee have ants crawling around it.  She considered rinsing it off before heading out but decided against it. Let the ants have a coffee party. 

The other cubicles, arranged like an H without the middle line,  are empty, except the last one near the door, with the occupant typing furiously, perhaps in an effort to wrap the day’s job. 

She picked her black sling bag, stuffed her phone charger and headed for the cubicle.  “Hey, just leave it!!! I’m hungry! ”

An arm extended out from the opening of the cubicle and gestured with the middle and index finger, two pages,  two minutes,  two hours,  it’s an open interpretation but she knows exactly it means it’s a rush job and needed immediately. She peered inside the cubicle and look at the documents, the top page with striking bold red letter on top…. TO BE CONTINUED

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(Hi sweety! If you’re reading this, I know you’re awake  😜 lol  Good morning baby! Wear your jacket 😘 Cold today xoxoxoxoxoxo👄 love you bunch! )

Dreaming On A Midsummer Night

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It’s past midnight here in my little corner of the world and i’m still laying awake listening to the sound of rain from the roof. Lightning and thunder breaks the midnight black skies as everyone,  (except me) are oblivious to the world, dreaming of dreams, sleeping this short summer solstice night away.

They said that summer solstice are powerful, and you can float small boats to grant the wishes of whoever will find it or to bless the lands. It is also a very magical time for love and romance, for couple to formalize their relationship and for singles to find their destiny.

Many rituals are connected to this event going back to the time of druids, all with intentions to bring out the power of love and light, just like the glistening rays of the sun.

Personally, i like the mystery, the magic of tonight, but most especially the love part. I stared at the moon tonight, sitting outside the house earlier, i took a moment to close my eyes and sent a little wish for someone 8772 miles away. I should’ve made a little boat to sail instead with hope that it will cross the distance and grant his wishes…and bring him to me.

But i know my prayers are stronger than that boat could be.

Amor vincit omnia. Love conquers all. Even the distance. Soon.

☆☆☆ Make today and everyday an opportunity to love. In it’s truest, most profound sense.  Life is too short for your feelings be unheard. Say it loud.☆☆ ☆

☆☆☆ Set your soul free, to where it will take you, to all the wonderful things ahead waiting to happen. ☆☆☆

☆☆☆ Re-start your goals, your dreams, your life…today. Forget the mistakes of the past, let go of all your uncertainties, and let the light of the moon cleanse your spirit. Tomorrow is a clean slate, write a better story. ☆☆☆

Happy Summer Solstice, lovable peeps!
💓💓💓

(To my R, Infinity and all the lifetimes ahead, and the next. Love you so, summer solstice or not. 💋)

Love,

Your Island Girl

(Time check: 02:35am)

Photo Credit: QuotesIdeas.com

CROSSING BRIDGES IN FAMILIAR PLACES

Hello.  I must admit I have a very erratic writing inspirations nowadays, hence, the erratic postings here, which I’m planning the make up to you soon. ( I know, I know… promises, promises) lol

Okey, here’s the pic of my beautiful hometown El Nido I snapped yesterday. I took this near the curve going to the cemetery.

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Yes, I’m still in my hometown. For four months now, and counting. Am I going back to the city soon? I’m not sure. What certain is, the feel of cold wind, the sound of the surf against the shore at dawn and the green mountain sceneries have not failed to surprise and enchant me every day, yet.

To backtrack a bit, I took a few days Christmas break from work, took the last bus trip to my hometown at midnight. But the weeks stretched to months and before I knew it, it’s Chinese new year, and valentine’s day, and my friends birthdays and well, a lot of things have come to pass already. The only trip I’ve taken back is to pack my things from the little house I rented with my mom just outside the gates of my work. Just few bags of clothes and furniture and a bit of appliances.

Looking at it, I realized how little material things we’ve gained from almost 15 years of living, studying and working in the city, in comparison to what we gave up for it.  It’s not been easy. What we lack from worldly gains, we make up for experiences.

We’ll be all billionaires if only they’ll let us cash in on the things we’ve seen, heard and touched. heartbreak and tears and success and happiness will have the highest exchange rates I guess. I don’t know.

Two weeks away from my 30th birthday and here I am, sitting in, my shop, at the beginning of the week, on a bright sunny day, alone, with my chaotic thoughts. Where am I going? Am I going to look back at this moment few months from now with regrets for letting a lot of good opportunities passed by? What is the future have in store for me? What have I achieved so far in those 30 years?

When I was 14 years old, I always imagined myself happily married at thirty. I imagined a lot of happy moments. And part of that dream is being successful. It’s will be huge milestone for me.

Reality: my bucket list is still uncrossed. Lol well, except for that one time I’ve (sorry for the pun) crossed the hanging bridge (I’m afraid of heights). There’s definitely a message somewhere there.

No need to look back. Start counting forward. And never stop crossing bridges. Even if it’s rickety and swaying. And the river looks deep under.

Failures? Water under the bridge.

30 is the new awesome!

Should I change the name of the blog now? Nope.

True North is an elusive son of a bee. 😀

But no matter, let your heart be your compass and your faith, the guiding light, and hope is an eternal flame, keep it burning.

 

LOVE,

Your Island Girl

 

 

 

E is for Enchanted

If you still believe in magic,
you’re subject to enchantment.
– Toba Beta

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~ And the moonbeams passed through the leaves of the old tree, the night is exceptionally quite except for the October breeze parting the grass. The field looks endless against the dark horizon and filled with moving shadows against the bluish silvery hue of the bright moon above.

A bird sleeping on a branch flapped its wings, it’s eyes a flicker of green.

A tiny yellow flower swayed …

The moon is dimmer as a cloud passed by.
Then a sudden swirling flutter of colors overshadows the gray and everything came alive.

They come out to play in this night of nights, when the thin thread between the enchanted smoke of imagination’s fire and reality completely vanished.

Their feet touched the ground.  gossamer wings  against the silvery light,  hand in hand,  swirling, until the edge of dawn, clothed in enchanted mist. They catch the first rays of sun and gifted the flowers with it.  (It’s why all the blooms got their colors. )

That’s how I imagined fairies on Midsummer Night.  And so off we glide and dance and sung… only this time we chased sunlight instead of moonlight, in the middle of an ordinary life.

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Our DIY costumes was supposedly to be used for a costumed gala at work, but the activity was cancelled the last minutes (heartbreak ensues). Fairy wings and wand and magic ready but no party? No problem.  One wave of our wand, boopety bappety boo…  we’re set and off we go… sprinkling sparkling glitter along the path.

So here’s me and my etherial company:

The Nature Fairy ( The Guardian of Trees and Animals) She finds lost animals, cuddles orphans,  heals trees and plants after storms and help farmers have bountiful harvest)

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The Dream Fairy (She’s the Granter of Wishes and Fulfiller of Dreams) She saves babies tears in a dream jar and sent it to the stars to create destiny’s thread.

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The Shadow Fairy (The Worst fairy in the realm, she was once a white fairy but was cursed by her sister when she fall in love with a mortal. ) She has the power of fire.

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The Glimmer Fairy (The sister of Shadow Fairy.) She’s a solitary enchanter and only comes out on full moon and  Hallow’s Eve. She can change weather patterns and calm the sea to prevent disasters. 😂

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On our way to a conference (yes, faeries do work too. 😂)

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May your wishes and dreams come true in sparkle of hope, a dash of happiness and heartful of love and faith!

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale of all. – Walt Disney

Have an enchanted, magical or creepy, spooktacular crazy scary Halloween, Everyone! ! 👹👻👾💀👿

(P. S The Enchantress Series to be continued on the next post. 😁)

Xoxo😚

Your Island Girl

Dancing in the sand, Rolling with the wind

Nature is always an unfailing mountain of inspiration. To calm your mind, go for a walk at dawn in the park, or watch the dew on a rose in a garden. Lie on the ground and gaze up into the sky, and let your mind expand into its spaciousness. Let the sky outside awaken a sky inside your mind. Stand by a stream and mingle your mind with its rushing; become one with its ceaseless sound. Sit by a waterfall and let its healing laughter purify your spirit. Walk on a beach and take the sea wind full and sweet against your face. Celebrate and use the beauty of moonlight to poise your mind. Sit by a lake or in a garden and, breathing quietly, let your mind fall silent as the moon comes up majestically and slowly in the cloudless night. ” ~ Glimpse After Glimpse (Daily Reflections on Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche
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My sister and I spent Sunday afternoon at the beach. About 1o-minute walk from the house, the area is surrounded by coconut trees and isolated except for a few teenagers living nearby taking some old coconut to be used for cooking lunch. We passed by the No Trespassing Sign and greeted the old caretaker cleaning and clearing some weeds near the path. He nodded at us.

The cold touch of the sea on my feet did not do anything to encourage me further, so I took out a book i bought about a month ago at the shop selling used books at very low prices, from my battered bag and decided to lay down beside a washed-out log. Halfway through page 33 (I’ve been reading the book for 3 weeks now) when I felt something ticklish on my left foot. Turned out a gray crab was digging very closed. He frozed when I moved. So I slowly turned to the other side to give him more room on his archeologic venture. I hope he discover some roman villa under the sand there.

Distracted, I put down the book and stared at the vast blue sky and soft cotton clouds slowly moving away. I tried to form shapes as my bestie NiNi and I always do during some leisure time at the field outside work.

But I guessed my cloud-shape reader was turned off. Or maybe the clouds just have no time to entertain me as they continued to move away with the wind. My thoughts drifted along. I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, the blue above me seems a little bit darker, and the water was a little farther away.

I looked for the crab. But he never got out of the hole again.

I drunked in the quietness. Some thoughts nagged at the back of my mind but I tried to focus my thoughts on the swaying of the leaves. Some images passed by, but I refused to give in.

I won.

For 2 minutes. Then I remember I didn’t had lunch. And pictures of corned beef with potatoes and egg (My favorite) came back. And as if on cue, my stomach grumbled rather very audibly. 😂😁:mrgreen::D

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Here's my #ootd. The skirt was recycled by me and originally intended for a fairy costume party, but it was cancelled.

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Me, trying to act as if this is a stolen shot hehe

I hope you (had or) are having a good Sunday.

Go live some.
💕

Carpe Diem!

~ your Island Girl